The story of Katie and Kris
Katie and Kris first met through a mutual friend when Katie was 17 and Kris was 18. Katie continued to visit Kris with her friend, and after shyly hanging out a few times together as a group, Kris and Katie decided to go on their first date on January 28, 2013. Since then, Katie and Kris have both celebrated their proms together and stood there to watch one another graduate from high school. On August 26, 2016, they took their relationship to the next step and got married. Kris’ mother was able to fly all the way from South Korea to attend the wedding. They have also figured out their favorite Korean food restaurant in their city, how to open up over difficulties, and continuously learn things from each other. They are currently working on getting Kris’ permanent residency in Canada, then they can begin another chapter of their journey together. Applying for citizenship for another country can be very stressful, but as long as they have each other for support, they know they’ll get through it.
Questions to Her
On Our first date…
we went to see The Guilt Trip at the theatre. We also hung out with friends as well, so we weren’t really alone during this time. And we were still so shy around each other! Whenever we made eye contact, we would always smile and look away. It felt like a middle school crush all over again, and that never happened for me before!
During the first months of dating my deal-breaker would be…
if he was dishonest, or rude to my friends or family. I need someone to accept the ones I love and be open with me. For example, if his family didn’t accept me or if they talked about me in another language while I was there, and he hid that from me, that would be a huge deal breaker. Or if he was rude towards people who acted or looked different, I wouldn’t be able to look past it.
I learned He is right for me when…
It was little moments spent together that accumulated in my heart and in the end, the only name on my heart was Kris. We would spend hours just sitting and sharing opinions about things and find out we shared deep feelings on touchy subjects. Or, for example, there was this one time when he was talking about this show he saw, and I freaked out because the show is one of my all-time favorites, and no one except for my best friend even knew this show existed!
I had culture shock when He…
explained to me what education was like in South Korea. We complain about homework that might take an hour to do here in North America, but imagine having to study for almost an entire day. People stereotype that Asian people are so smart, but they don’t really take in to account what they went through to get that smart. The hours of studying and afterschool classes. Education is something that helps them make a place in society, especially when applying for secondary schools in South Korea.
3 things I love about Him are…
his manners, protectiveness, and kindness. From the first day I met him, these were the first things that struck me. He was so different from guys I dated previously. It was the way he was raised, and I really respected him for it, and it honestly changed me as well to become a better person. I am slower to judge and try to show respect to people even if I hate them.
The biggest misconception about His country is…
that everyone eats dogs. It initially was a shock to me when I was younger and found out that other cultures ate animals like cats and dogs. I couldn’t fathom it. Kris explained to me that when he was younger, he was fed dog meat not knowing what type of meat it was. He understood why I was upset over the subject, but he also reminded me that I have to take a step back and look at my own culture as well. In some cultures, it is a sin or even illegal to eat a cow or a pig. We think it’s normal because we raise cows and pigs mostly for the purpose of consumption. People in some parts of South Korea raise dogs solely for consumption. Not everyone in South Korea eats dog meat, and it will always be a touchy subject for me to talk about because I have both a dog and a cat, but you will always need an open mind when facing subjects of other peoples’ cultures. What is right for one culture may be wrong for another.
The most beautiful thing He ever did for me was…
when I had an anxiety attack while at his house. We had only been dating for about 2 weeks, and it was the first time I was going to his house. I was freaking out to the point that I had an anxiety attack. When this happens I don’t want anyone touching me or I feel enclosed. He had no idea what was going on because he had never heard of mental illnesses like anxiety before. I was sure he would have broken up with me, I know all my previous boyfriends would have labeled me as crazy and left. But no, there I was laying on the grass in front of his house trying to calm myself down in the chill air, and there he was beside me, waiting for me. No other guy has ever accepted my mental illness this quickly, especially since he had no previous knowledge of it. He even researched anxiety, later on, to better help understand what I go through. He went above and beyond for me.
During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…
to love myself. I used to have a pretty negative view of myself physically and mentally. The first time Kris heard me talk down about myself, he got very mad and serious fast. He looked me in the eyes and told me to stop talking about myself in this way, and that I needed to love myself and look at myself the way he looks at me; beautiful.
If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Western girlfriends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…
to have patience and be open to learning. Not just for Western girls, but all girls looking to have a relationship with someone from a different culture. Going into the relationship, there were SO MANY things we didn’t know about each other’s culture. We used to get angry at each other at first when we didn’t understand something culturally. Have patience to learn from one another’s culture. There may be some things you may not like, but you don’t have to like it. A person’s culture is a part of them, and you should accept it and accept that it makes them who they are. There are still things Kris and I learn from each other even today, and there will most definitely still be things we’ll be learning from each other in the time to come. And if you’re offered to try some Korean snacks, try it! It won’t kill you to go out of your comfort zone once in a while because they will have to do the same thing for you!
Questions to Him
Asking her out for the first time was…
hard. I never had a girlfriend, and I am a shy person. She is, however, beautiful enough for me to man up for the first time in my life (and for the last time). The date went better than I thought it would go (after all, it was my first date ever). We were shy, and a little bit awkward, but I could tell that we had a good time.
I learned She is right for me when…
It wasn’t really one specific event. It was more like everything we did together in general. We had many things in common. As together, we went through many situations. I think those experiences helped me realize that she is “the one.”
I had culture shock when…
It’s not really just her, but when I arrived Canada for the first time, it was a bit shocking that high schools here end at 3:30. In Korea, my school (well at least back in when I was in high school) ended at 9~10 pm.
3 things I love about Her are…
First, I love how she looks (even though she doesn’t agree with me). Second, I love how she has many things in common with me. For last, I love how she tries to understand me.
The biggest misconception about Her country and culture was…
Because I had a close aunt who has been to Canada many times, I didn’t really have any misconceptions. I already had a general idea how life was here.
The things that She likes to do for fun with me…
She wants me to rub her back or arm when we are in bed until she falls asleep… joking! We like to do many things together like playing video games (Halo, Battlefield, Fallout), shopping (she shopping, me holding her bags haha), and just relaxing together and watching movies.
She hates when I…
Because she is a bit of a morning type, and I like to sleep late, she hates it when I go to bed late. We even have a time set for the latest time that I can go bed because sometimes the noises of my computer keep her up at night.
During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…
I used to think that there was something wrong with me. I never had a girlfriend and had very few friends. This made me even more shy and quiet when it came to talking to girls. However, she loves me and wants to me to have my own self-love.
If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow friends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…
When it comes to having relationships with others. A race shouldn’t be a something that bothers you. Whether she/he is White, Asian, or Black, the only thing that matters in a relationship is to be with the person themselves and not their race.
