I didn’t think we would ever see each other again

chinese americanThe story of Tiffany and Joseph

Tiffany and Joseph met first on the dating app called Skout in late 2012. Tiffany sent Joseph a winking smiley face first to see if he would reply. They are both artists so they instantly hit it off, sharing their respective illustrations with each other on the Skout app! The pair started to Skype each other on a semi-regular basis and did not actually meet in-person until February of 2013 due to how busy Joseph was. Their first date was on Valentine’s Day and they planned to attend an octopus mating ritual at the Seattle Aquarium. However, due to a late bus schedule, they missed the aquatic mating ritual but were able to still experience the aquarium’s other exhibits. Joseph lived in Seattle while Tiffany commuted to Seattle for college about 1.5 hours from Olympia. They met up on the weekends in Seattle to see each other. In 2014 Tiffany and Joseph adopted their beagle Nighthowler. Currently, the trio lives and work in Seattle.

hot american girlQuestions to Her

On Our first date…
we planned to go to the Seattle Aquarium where they were having an event for Valentine’s Day. They were going to try and breed the two resident Octopi. If I remember correctly we got there too late, bummed out we had to figure out what to do next. We decided to walk around Pike Place Market and grab lunch there.

During the first months of dating my deal-breaker would be…
When Joe and I first started dating we didn’t consider ourselves official and we were both still going on dates with other people on the side. After our third date, I did not feel that Joe was looking for a relationship, I asked him point blank while we were waiting for my bus to arrive. He couldn’t give me a straight answer, so as I was boarding the bus he asked if he would see me ever again. Honestly, I didn’t think we’d ever see each other again at the time.
Not only that but if he did not care for my elderly dogs and my passion for veterinary medicine then there would have been no way for me to commit.

I learned He is right for me when…
There were a few things that got to me, but the biggest impact he had on me that really made me love him was how much he cared about my aging dogs. They were alive at the time I was dating him, one was 19 years old and the other 14 at the time. When they died he did not judge me and held me together through months of grieving.

I had a cultural shock when He…
Introduced me to his parents. His parents originally thought I was Chinese when Joe first told them about me. They both came from China and speak a few languages. They are devout Buddhists…and I am not too familiar with religions or belief systems so it was pretty weird. They have this huge shrine in what would be the living area of the house. I had to do some prayers with them once and repeat things in Mandarin (VERY HARD) I had no idea what I was saying. Also, his grandma was funny, she really likes my big nose and stares at me a lot. Awkward, but cute.
And of course the food, food that I can’t even pronounce. I like a lot of it though!

romantic amwf3 things I love about Him are…
His positivity….he’s hardworking….and we share a lot in common. We are both artists and we critique each other’s work and enjoy just making things or trying to figure out how pieces were put together. He has never pushed anything on me and we discuss everything together.

The biggest misconception about His country and culture was…
Joe was born in New York City, so he was the first generation American raised. He didn’t really follow in his parents’ ideology, and neither did his sisters. He does tell me stuff about China from when he visited family and opened my view on Asian American issues that I wasn’t even aware of.

The most beautiful thing He ever did for me was…
That is very hard to answer, the four plus years we have had together a lot of events occurred. There was a time I was working 7 days a week at a couple of jobs (about 80hrs a week) and he would rub my aching muscles. He gave me the strength to not crumble under my school debt (which I paid off in 4 years!) He loved me at my absolute worst; no job, depression, anxiety attacks, injuries, and the back to back deaths of my childhood dogs.
It is all the little things really. He would leave me little notes and drawings that I would find as I got ready for work in the morning. And sometimes he would just say “We are gonna make it, okay?” To reassure me that the worst will pass. All the things he’s ever done for me were beautiful and unique. We aren’t rich and we aren’t loud people so we don’t shower each with gifts, trips, or parties.

During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…
I learned to stand up for myself and not settle for anyone. I learned there are people out there worth waiting for. Patience and communication are vital and the willingness to work and learn together to tackle issues as a couple.

If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Western girlfriends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…
I think I’ll direct it more to American girls in that you really shouldn’t cloud your opinions with stereotypes about Asian men. Every person is unique and you can learn more if you are open to it. As for everyone else, love is love, but do not let anyone push you to be who you are not. Do not let family or friends belittle someone you are with because of a different culture or race. It is a partnership and with that comes accepting each other’s differences in family and tradition.

hot chinese americanQuestions to Him

Asking Her out for the first time was…
a challenge in that I was very busy with work, but still wanted to see her as soon as possible. During January of 2013, I attended one of my best friend’s wedding in India. Indian weddings are a week-long event, so I was out of the country for the week after we met on the Skout app. I was also helping grow operations at the science lab I worked at. But luckily for me, Tiff was willing to wait a little longer before meeting me in-person. We finally met in-person on Valentine’s day and I thought she was smoking hot!

I learned She is right for me when…
During the beginning when we first started dating, I told Tiff that I was not necessarily looking for a long-term relationship. That’s what the boys say when they think they’re hotter stuff than they really are! However, the more I spent time with her, the more I realized that this woman was not someone to take for granted – she’s special and I didn’t want to let her go! I wanted to match her loyalty and more.

I had a cultural shock when She….
Actually, there’s not much shock here from me. I’m a second-generation Chinese American, so I was exposed to American culture my entire life. Some would say I’m more American than Chinese, culturally speaking. Maybe Tiff was shocked about some aspect of Chinese culture – you’ll have to ask her!

3 things I love about Her are…
Her loyalty <3
Her ability to call out bullshit from other people (she’s a fiery one!).
Her maternal instinct – she swears she doesn’t have one, but she’s an amazing caretaker for animals. I think she’ll be a great mother.

The biggest misconception about Her country and culture was…
Her country is my country! MURICA!
However, Tiff has lived all over the United States, while I have only lived in New York City, South Jersey, and Seattle.

The things that She likes to do for fun with me are…
We like to bring our dog to the dog park, hold hands and walk around Seattle. We also like to travel, although we haven’t been able to recently due to how busy we both are.

She hates when I…
Tiff hates when I tap my hands on the table when I’m impatient or restless. I think it makes her restless as well! She also hates when I chew with my mouth open – good thing I don’t do that too often 😛

During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…
My relationship with Tiff has taught me that loyalty is invaluable and a rare thing. If someone is giving you their 100% effort and more, you should do the same. Don’t give up on love.

hot interracial coupleIf there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Asian friends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…
To create and build a life together with someone in love and marriage means that you should want to cultivate patience and have a willingness to listen. There were so many times that I didn’t listen to Tiff’s side, but I’m eternally grateful she has had the patience to stay with me and help me grow. When you marry someone, you’re all in with them. Make the choice to be the best support you can be for them and they will do the same for you.