The story of Charine and Jay

We met 3 years ago through mutual friends and it wasn’t until 16 November 2017 that we decided to go on our first date. We both live in Australia but unfortunately live 2 hours away from each other. After starting to chat on messenger before he went to Vietnam on holiday, we decided to meet a week after he was due back. We decided to meet in Perth where he lived, with the promise that he would take me to a great coffee spot. We had become a couple on our first date and had worked out the distance, with me spending weekends in Perth at his house and him staying at my place in the week since he worked on weekends. Almost five months later of dating and we are now engaged and set to get married next year April time, with us set to have our wedding in South Africa (which is where I was born). There are also plans for me to move to Perth to be with Jay before next year, with us wanting to buy a house together. I have not met his parents yet, so come Christmas time, we will be going there for a visit to meet his family and see his hometown.  

 

Questions to Her

On Our first date…

On our first date, I was very nervous to meet him. He was due to fetch me at my brother’s house since I was dropping my car off there because I had to drive 2 hours to meet him and we decided that he’d drive us around for the day. As he arrived to fetch, I hardly had a chance to look at him as he flew to open my door for me, which shocked me a bit. As soon as I got out the car he gave me a big hug, which helped calm the nerves. As we drove to our destined date spot, we immediately hit it off in the car, with us chatting non-stop and to his horror I had brought with a fun game for us to play on the way, which was the “Harry Potter flavored jelly beans”. The game defiantly broke the ice and I felt completely comfortable with him, even though I still feel bad about getting him to eat all those gross flavored beans, it was still a great experience to have together. The rest of the day was amazing, with him taking us to a nice restaurant on the beach, where we shared a dessert and spoke non-stop. We went on to spend the whole day and night together, with time feeling like it had stood still. I could not have asked for a better first date, with it ending in us having our first kiss and becoming a couple. Throughout the date, I knew that Jay was special, with him making my heart skip a beat every time he looked into my eyes.  

During the first months of dating my deal-breaker would be…

A deal breaker for me would be a guy who was self-centered and only thought about himself especially in a relationship, I believe a relationship should be about both people and not just the one. Jay is the complete opposite of this and always puts others before himself, which is one of the reasons I fell in love with him.

I learned He is right for me when…

From our very first date, I knew he was the one, I have never clicked with or felt so close or comfortable with anyone before. It had felt like I had known him forever, instead of just meeting him on that day. I just knew that I was going to be with him forever that, that day was going to be the start of a whole new chapter in our lives.

I had a cultural shock when He…

I had a culture shock when he first introduced me to all his friends and family, I wasn’t used to how close everyone was and how open and friendly they were. I also had to get used to another language being spoken around me when he was with his friends or family, which at first made me feel intimidated, but now it has me wanting to learn his language.  

3 things I love about Him are…

• His smile, it always makes my heart skip a beat. His smile always brightens up the room when he walks in.
• His big heart, Jay is the most caring guy I have ever met. He is always helping those around him and taking care of those that need him. From the very first date to now, he has always been there for me. I have never been treated so well by a guy before, I feel so loved and wanted every day that I am with him. Even when I annoy him or do stupid things, he always showers me with love, I could never imagine a world without him in it.
• His confidence, although he would say his shy, Jay is not afraid to go out and do things. I am always taken aback at how confident he can be, his confidence is also contagious, with me being motivated to be more confident in myself when I’m around him. I love seeing how confident he can be and can’t wait to see where it leads him in the future.   

The biggest misconception about His country and culture was…

When I had first started dating Jay, I didn’t know much about the Philippines and their culture. I had the misconception that Filipino’s kept to themselves and wouldn’t be to open to an outsider coming in since they all seemed like they kept to their own communities. But I couldn’t be more wrong, with them all being so welcoming and friendly, they welcomed me with open arms as soon as they found out Jay and I were dating.  

The most beautiful thing He ever did for me was…

He made my first birthday with him the most amazing day of my life, I have never felt so spoilt on my birthday before. He had organized a birthday cake for me to wake up to and an amazing road trip to go on for the day, with it ending at a beautiful winery where he got down on one knee and proposed to me.

During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…

That I can be myself in a relationship, I have quite a strong personality and have always been afraid that my personality would end any relationship I had, but Jay has stayed by my side regardless of how crazy I get and I realised that with the right person I can be who I am and not worry about holding back.

If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Western girlfriends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…

Don’t go into the relationship with certain expectations because of his culture or background, go into it with an open mind. Try to be patient with your other half and don’t jump to conclusions, there could be a reason that his doing something that you don’t know of. Communication is so important in an AMWF relationship, so much miscommunication can happen if you don’t take the time to properly communicate with each other. Just enjoy the relationship, take time to learn about each other cultures and get to know each other properly.   

 

Questions to Him

Asking Her out for the first time was…

nerve-racking. I never thought a pretty girl like her would say “Yes”. She is way out of my league and I’m glad I’ve had the courage to meet with her on a date.

I learned She is right for me…

the very first day I’ve met her. We get along on all things. Our values and principles are very much alike. As the months go by, she just keeps filling my heart with love and happiness. Every day had since been special with her in my life.

I had a cultural shock when…

She introduced me to their food with her cooking. Their meals do not always include rice. Being a Filipino, we have rice as our staple food, together with meat and vegetables. Having said that, I love her cooking and food. I can live with it when we get married and I may even not need the rice cooker anymore for ever meal.☺

3 things I love about Her are…

her tantalizing blue eyes, her naturally caring personality, and her bubbly character. She never fails to make me feel pampered when we are together. She takes extra efforts to make me laugh when I start to get grumpy. And oh! I forgot to mention her mesmerizing smile. I reckon it could launch a thousand ships. That makes it 4 things that I love about her.

The biggest misconception about Her country and culture was…

that they are unwelcoming to people from different races. I’ve met her family and they had all been extremely wonderful people. As we got deeper into our relationship, they also made me feel like I’m a part of their family.

The things that She likes to do for fun with me…

are going for coffee dates (we love our coffee) and exploring new places together. Building memories is very important to both of us and we cherish every moment of it. Every photo we take becomes part of our robust treasure chest of love and happiness that we shall keep looking back as we grow grey and old.

She hates it when…

I don’t get where she is pointing and take the wrong turns while driving. She gets frustrated with my innate broken compass and GPS. In my defense, the angle of her fingers pointing in a direction is clearly going the wrong way when you are in the driver’s seat. (Well geez! Let’s just go for a joyride and take a long way). The good thing is she gets over it after I say the magic words “I Love You” along with a cheeky smile.

During this relationship, the most important thing I learned about myself was…

that I am capable of making someone else happy too. I’ve always thought I’m not good enough for someone. I thought “Love” would just be in books and in movie scenes until she came and made it all real.

If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Asian friends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…

to be true to themselves and have the courage to go out there and try finding the right one for you. Just give it your all until you find that partner that will make your heart skip a bit. Cultural and racial differences are just unnecessary backgrounds to great relationships. As long as you love each other unconditionally and will try to overcome any differences between the two of you, you will have a relationship that would last a lifetime.

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