The story of Kaitlin and Yuwei
Yuwei and I met December of 2014 like most couples these days do… Through the internet. Both of us somehow found ourselves on Plenty of Fish. He sent the first message and it just took off from there. After finally meeting in person on New Years Day, we were quite inseparable. He was an international student from Shanghai, studying at a local Christian college while I was finishing up high school about 30 minutes outside of town. We ended up getting married December 12th of that same year. We’ve traveled to so many places, eaten many new dishes, and even welcomed our first child in the past few years, with plans to continue growing our family. Yuwei is a soon to be pastor, and I am looking forward to being the pastor’s wife 😊
Questions to Her
On Our first date…
I was so nervous I barely talked to him on the ride to the movies. I was so worried I would say something stupid that I just couldn’t say anything. He took me to see The Theory of Everything, not even knowing how badly I wanted to see it! He held my hand throughout the entire movie and even got a bit sad when I would move it. It was just too cute! He definitely took me by surprise, but it was the best date I had ever been on.
During the first months of dating my deal-breaker would be…
Things were very rough when we first started dating. Between his expectations due to culture and my personal issues stemming from my previous relationship, we were fighting a lot. We almost ended things a few times, but truly the only deal breaker for sure would have been cheating. The two of us agreed that would be an end-all situation.
I learned He is right for me…
after I first met his mother. It was a huge moment for the both us. He had never introduced his mother to his girlfriends and I had never met a boyfriend’s parents. All the sweet, little things he had done led me up to this huge point where I realized I couldn’t live without him. I had pretty much realized I would end up marrying this guy!
I had culture shock when He…
took me to Shanghai July of 2016. It was insanely different compared to the US! The way people treated their surroundings, the way people acted towards others on the streets, and even the food and malls were shocking. I couldn’t believe my eyes each time we stepped out of the apartment.
3 things I love about Him are…
Yuwei has this amazing love for Jesus. It takes my breath away sometimes when I watch him pray or lead our church services. I love how much he cares for others. He acts like this tough, macho man, but when it comes to his family and friends he has the softest heart and would go to the ends of the earth to make them happy. The thing I love the most about him is how goofy he is. He walks around the apartment singing along to Wang Leehom and other Chinese artists in this cute little fashion. It’s silly enough to make our daughter smile and giggle too. He has this young, playful heart, and it’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with him.
The biggest misconception about His country and culture was…
that all Asians are the same. I couldn’t tell the difference when it came to facial features as well as the language they are speaking. Now that I’ve been surrounded by many Asian cultures over the last 3 years I’m better at picking out Chinese people and speakers than my husband is! Through my understanding of Yuwei’s culture, I’ve been able to teach my family that the things most American’s believe about the Chinese are not always true.
The most beautiful thing He ever did for me was...
when he proposed to me. He was helping during church services and decided to do it right then and there. He was so nervous and cute that I almost cried. Him taking me as his wife is one of the most beautiful and memorable things he’s done for me.
During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…
To love myself more and also finding my faith. I had low self-esteem from a young age and this relationship has shown me how beautiful I truly am and how strong I can be. Before this relationship, I had struggled with religion and faith. I have drawn closer to God since and it’s amazing.
If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Western girlfriends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…
Go for it! The Asian cultures are absolutely beautiful and I have found that men from these cultures absolutely adore their family. But always understand that their cultures are very different from yours and it can be hard. Don’t try to change them if they don’t want to.
Questions to Him
Asking Her out for the first time was…
It was really exciting! She was a really shy girl whom I asked a couple times to go with me to Christmas service, but she rejected. I waited for a long time to finally get to ask her out again. I was so anxious that she would bail on me. Due to her shyness, she asked her friend to be accompanied by her. The first meeting was somehow weird/ awkward because of that. Then the first date-date was watching a movie in a small theater. On the way to the theater from her home was quite interesting. One can easily feel how nervous and anxious she was. She would not open her mouth to say a word. However, we did have fun that day.
I learned She is right for me when…
I do not know exactly when, but the trip to Texas definitely contributed a little bit. That was the first time to have time to be with her alone for days, especially during the boring and exhausting driving. During our dating, I gradually learned she was a kind girl who might have little money, yet not petty to give to the poor. That was kind of virtue which I hoped for my future significant other to have.
I had a cultural shock when She….
ate salad! I just do not prefer eating veggie uncooked lol!
3 things I love about Her are…
Her compassionate heart to the needy; her unchanging love to me; her smile.
The biggest misconception about Her country and culture was…
Misconception. The biggest stereotype a Chinese may think of America is racism. Some of them assume all Americans do not care about other races. Many would wonder why a white person would marry a non-white.
The things that She likes to do for fun with me are…
She would think everything done for me is fun.
She hates when I…
am very conceiting and showing off my knowledge. She always demands my humility.
During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…
I am actually loved. That there are people loving regardless of one’s financial status and body shape.
If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Asian friends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…
Do not focus on how others might look at you and your loved one. Focus on your own relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend. At the end of the day, no others’ words can repair your relationship if you stop loving and no one’s words can destroy your relationship if you are loving.
