Love yourself first. It will free you to love those around you rather than push them away

AMWF couple londonThe story of Andrew and Poppy


Andrew and Poppy both were born and raised in London, England. Andrew is British but ethnically Chinese (family is from Hong Kong). He visits his family a few times a year and has lived in Beijing for two years. Andrew and Poppy met on the very first night of their universities freshers night. There was an instant connection between them. Every night they started texting each other and planning their next meeting at the freshers’ event the next night. This went on for a few weeks until Andrew officially asked her to be his girlfriend. Since then they’ve both graduated onwards from University (Astrophysics and Psychology) and stayed together over the past almost 7 years.

Poppy is a Commissioning Manager responsible for things such as providing learning disabilities services for local residents in the borough. She is actively working to improve the lives of people who are less privileged than many of us. Andrew left Physics research behind and pursued a career in Software Engineering, building web e-commerce storefronts for (mostly) luxury retail brands; it’s slightly soul-crushing, just making the rich CEOs richer and richer but a man gotta make a livin’. It’s been a whirlwind of wonderful experiences with each other including traveling from all over Europe to all over Asia to America. They live in London and have two beautiful cats. One of their favorite things to do is to travel around the world and experience the full spectrum of life from degeneracy to high class.

They will be visiting the USA soon, hitting up Las Vegas, Hawaii, and LA. give them a shout if y’all around.

an english girlfriendQuestions to Her

On Our first date…

I stupidly had eaten before our date so during our dinner I drank a Coca-Cola while we talked for what felt like hours, just getting to know each other over his meal. After the meal, we went back to his place to chill out and watch a film.

During the first months of dating my deal-breaker would be…

if he didn’t make much effort to see me.  We did not live very close to each other and it would require a lot of planning (poor planning on Andrews side :P)

I learned He is right for me when…

I learned he is right for me the moment we first kissed. I learned he is right for me when he cooks almost every day for me and takes care of me. I learned he is right for me when he took me and showed me so many different countries; bringing me to cultures and places I’d never even thought I’d be able to experience before. I learned he is right for me when we hold hands for as long as possible on our train to work.

I had a cultural shock when…

I had to take off my shoes when entering the house or when I found the drawers were full of mostly chopsticks took some getting used to. Or when we were eating at a Chinese banquet and they served an entire roast suckling pig onto a place with LED powered cherries resting in the eye sockets.

chinese guy in london 3 things I love about Him are…

  • Intelligence
  • Looks
  • Personality
  • (Cooking)

The biggest misconception about His country and culture was…

  • I had a large shock when I learned the massive importance of filial piety.
  • I was surprised when his immediate family, as well as himself, became so involved and familial towards some visiting distant family of his, which I was not particularly used to.
  • The biggest misconception about his country and culture was China is one homogeneous country with no ethnic and linguistic variations.

The most beautiful thing He ever did for me was…

  • Buy us matching jewelry.
  • Recreating our beautiful long evening walks along the Thames south bank.
  • Support and believe in me, no matter what.

During this relationship, the most important thing I learned about myself was…

that I should have high self-esteem and that all relationships need communication.

interracial coupleIf there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Western girlfriends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…

Be patient, the current geopolitical climate is not used to the idea of AMWF couples yet. Western media even in 2018 has a large stigma against portraying Asian males in lead ‘hero’ type roles – I know there are some exceptions). The only thing we can do is to spread positive awareness in any way possible.  If you are an AMWF couple, let the public know, show it off to people in public, and f*** anyone who reacts negatively to you. If you see a cute Asian guy that you want to get to know better but think he’s too shy to approach you, just take the leap and initiate first.

 

hot chinese guyQuestions to Him

Asking Her out for the first time was…

A slightly awkward conversation in a romantic setting. Asking her out for the first time was just a formality, we were pretty much together before then. We were essentially confirming that we were indeed ‘going steady’.

 I learned She is right for me when…

I learned she is the right one for me when I discovered she is my soulmate. I learned she is right for me when she managed to single-handedly find me in a local hospital after an episode of psychosis by calling every single hospital in the local vicinity, with no knowledge other than I was missing. That was the moment I truly learned she would do anything for me. I learned she was right for me because she was by my side and will always be by my side (hospital or not). I learned she is the right one for me because she makes incredibly amazing financial decisions.

I had a cultural shock when She…

she didn’t take her shoes off in my house initially and she had never tried a plethora of wonderful foods from other cuisines.

my western girlfriend3 things I love about Her are…

  • Looks (gorgeous, talk about punching above my weight amirite)
  • Intelligence
  • Stubbornness
  • Empathy

The biggest misconception about Her country and culture was…

not exactly much since we’re from the same country…guess one misconception was the how white British parents usually discipline their kids as opposed to the infamous ‘Tiger mums’ which I experienced growing up.

The things that She likes to do for fun with me are…

  • Partying (hard 😉)
  • Me taking the lead to some sort of surprise event.
  • Spending time with our gorgeous cats.
  • Digital painting/sketching and graphic design.

amwf boyfriendShe hates when I…

won’t get out of bed.

During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…

is to love yourself first, and it will free you love those around you rather than push them away. Also, communication is valuable in relationships, all sorts not just with your partner.

If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Asian friends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…

  • ABC guyBreak the mold.
  • Don’t give a f*** about the racist people, there will always be those. You’re better than them.
  • Don’t be a weirdo, when in Rome do as the Romans do. Integrate and indulge yourself with your peers and activities.
  • Get a good fashion sense.
  • 99% of the time, do not do what your parents ask you to. Tell them what you’re thinking, don’t be a pussy.
  • If you want to ask her out for a coffee/spliff whatever, just go for it!
  • Last resort, go to MCM expo (ExCel Centre London, twice year).
If you like the interview with Andrew and Poppy, go on and follow Andrew’s Instagram.