The story of Mathilda and Bernard
They met for the first time at her job in Sweden April 16th, 2016 when Bernard was having a vacation visiting his family. After having their first walk together the same day they started chatting, he went back to Malta in the early morning. After chatting for 2 weeks, he decided to move back to Sweden again where their relationship slowly started to develop. Since then, they have traveled to more than 5 countries together, recently bought an apartment and are now living with their little bunny Pegasus in a 3 room apartment in Sweden.
They also started a youtube channel about their travels and relationship and have plans of growing it while seeing the world together and growing as a couple.
Questions to Her
On Our first date…
He asked me out for a walk the same day we started chatting online because he was leaving again for Malta the day after. At first I kept saying no, as I’m very shy with new people but while going out to the grocery store I had a feeling I should just do it. I wrote to him ‘’come here now, let’s meet’’ and we went for a walk in town at night while his little sister was waiting in a car for him to come back and drive them home. I remember feeling shy but he really pulled me out of my comfort zone instantly and I left with a feeling that I just wanted to keep talking to him. I felt sad that we only had such a short time to meet.
During the first months of dating my deal-breaker would be…
If he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship. I have always wanted a more mature and adult relationship so a party guy who drinks a lot and thinks it’s okay to flirt with other girls just wouldn’t work for me.
I learned He is right for me when…
I honestly can’t say a defining moment in when he was right for me, but I did have a feeling he would really change my life very early in our relationship. We had so many things we agreed on, and even the things we didn’t agree on became hour-long discussions that opened my mind to other people’s views and taught me new things about myself. I started imagining a future together which I had never done before. In my previous relationships and friendships we would talk about unrealistic dreams or just ignore the future but this time we talked and I realized that many things I used to want I have just ignored and pushed aside for my previous partners and lived in the moment doing nothing…
I had a cultural shock when…
There are differences in how we view a lot of things, especially how we view families and cousins ( I see family as people I choose and who are near me even if we are not related by blood, while the blood bond is more important in the Filipino culture) but it’s nothing that really bothers me.
3 things I love about Him are…
How we can have deep conversations about literally ANYTHING for hours. We laugh a lot too! He is just a very easy person to talk to and he is open to most things.
His passion, when he decides something he won’t stop until he got it and he will do what it takes to get there. He was chasing me for quite a while without giving up.
Finally, I love that he likes me the way I am and never treats me less for not having makeup on or even me just being in my ugliest outfit and dirty hair. We can be ourselves together.
The biggest misconception about His country and culture was…
In Sweden, there are not all that many Filipinos growing up in a small town, so before I met Bernard I had never spoken to a Filipino and I never ever heard a Swedish person talk about Philippines or Filipinos, therefore there were not that many misconceptions. I literally had 0 expectations.
Before I went to the Philippines the first time many people told me to be careful because people there are very poor and will steal from me. However, I spent there 2 months and I never felt scared or worried about my safety. Most people I met are just curious, very sweet and generous and his family have always been super kind and welcoming to me!
The most beautiful thing He ever did for me was…
the easy answer for me would be saying the time he planned our 1 year anniversary and he booked us to Malta, got us the most amazing hotel room with a jacuzzi in our bedroom and had the people working there make a heart shape out of rose petals on the bed and bring wine for us. It was so sweet an so beautiful and an amazing experience I know I would never have had if I hadn’t met him.
Another really odd moment is when we had been in traveling in Sweden together over the weekend and we were driving home. We stopped by a gas station for gas and we went in to buy some snacks. We got some cinnamon rolls, and I ate mine really quickly because I was really hungry. Later when he was gonna eat his rolls he took just one bite and then he gave it to me because he knew I was hungry …
It made me feel like he really genuinely cared for me and loved me, and I think it’s those small things in the relationship that shows it and makes it last in the long run. Giving someone the last bite or last cookie or maybe saying drive safely and love you one extra time might make the biggest difference (the focus in your relationship should be your love, not just materialistic things).
During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…
To think outside of the box and not only dream it but actually try to follow your goals and dreams. Also, I learned that I can just be me and not care what others say or think as long as I am happy even though it might not be the conventional way of acting in Sweden.
If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Western girlfriends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…
I would say we had an advantage since we both grew up mostly in Sweden and he already understood my culture and language so in that area I sadly can’t give any advice but keeping an open mind, and be playfully interested in each other, learn their culture and language and have fun with it.
Also don’t think too much about it, he is a human and so are you. Think about all the things you have in common instead of what’s different. Most importantly you both have to be honest and open-minded. If you don’t understand something don’t be afraid to ask. Learning each other’s cultures and being a part of it will make you feel more welcomed and it will make you guys connected even more and make you share more memories together.
Questions to Him
Asking Her out for the first time was…
exciting but also very tense. The fact was that she already had a boyfriend that time made it even worse. I just wanted to know everything about her. My thoughts went back and forward though since I was living and based in Malta with my company. One part of me was saying that I should go all in and see what could happen between us. The other part was asking myself why would I go out with a stranger with no potential outcome of getting relationship at all.
I learned She is right for me when…
She was very genuine from the very start. On our first date, she told me private things that probably not many Swedish people would talk about to strangers. The fact that we moved in together in the very early stage in our relationship was a sign that we are serious about us.
I had a cultural shock when She…
I had a cultural shock when She talked about her family and how close she was to them. They are still close by having phone calls, going to malls together and having family dinners on special occasions. However, it still cannot be compared with how we close we Filipinos are with our family. In my family, we grew up together under the same roof and cousins also counts as a close family.
3 things I love about Her are…
First, she can adapt to other cultures easily, in this case, the Filipino culture. She is also a very organized person which I really need in my life. She basically holds me down to the earth. The last thing I love about her is that she is not one of those who thinks “We are living right now”. She is open-minded and she thinks about the future. This is the main reason why we have come in our relationship so far.
The biggest misconception about Her country and culture was…
that I did not expect that the Swedes are so cheap and independent. Here is a good example: Swedes pay for themselves when they are going out in the restaurant. Doesn’t matter if its a guy or a girl. For us Filipinos, it is like 100% obligation to pay for everything when you are dating the girl or when you are going out with your girlfriend. Also, most of the people around the World think that Swedish girls are wild party girls. I can tell you that Mathilda is the opposite. She’d rather be at home on the sofa watching movies on the weekends.
The things that She likes to do for fun with me are…
The things that She likes to do for fun with me are traveling around the World. So far we have been in Malta, Hong Kong, Poland, Denmark, and Philippines (twice). She also probably thinks that it’s funny when we get into different conversations from nowhere and could discuss the craziest topics you can get into.
She hates when I…
am disorganized, make a big mess at home and when I am snoring or taking my power naps. I am one of those guys who clean the apartment when the place is really messy. I also prefer to take power naps when I get tired. She always wants my attention and affection but since I am very busy with my business and doing a lot of work on a daily basis, I get often tired when I switch my body to relax mode.
During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was…
that I have to step down to her financial level and appreciate what I have in life. I also learned that the more love you give, the more you will get of life. Before I met her, I traveled over 25 times within 24 months. Now we travel a few times per year. Since she really likes her job and still wants to learn, develop and improve herself, we are more likely living as a normal Swedish couple at least for now.
If there is a piece of advice I could give to my fellow Asian friends who are into the AMWF relationships that would be…
- If you like the girl or find her interesting, go and ask her out! You will never know what she will say. Not knowing the answer is something you probably will regret when someone takes that opportunity.
2. If you are dating her or have a relationship with her be honest with her and to yourself. Pretending being someone else or be better than someone else might cause you losing the relationship the longer you go.
3. Just because a girl finds you interesting doesn’t mean all girls will want to have you. Appreciate what you have and get. Take every opportunity if your heart and mind are positive about it.
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